White Cards, Black Cards
Illustration by RK Tiu
The man opened his eyes to the swirls of red and yellow painted on the dark blue sky. As the sun rose from the horizon, so did he from his stupor. He stood, gazed at the sun as it triumphed over the darkness and murmured to himself, “In a world ravaged by my inner demons, my only solace is hope.”
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Lucy languidly blew puffs of smoke from her full lips, right hand toying with the locks of her crimson hair, left hand holding ten white cards. She then picked two of them, gave each a kiss and handed it to the man in front of her.
“You’re no fun, Mike,” said she, kissing the cheek of the man who held all the cards, while looking straight to the blue eyes of the boy with golden hair across the table.
“Stop this farce, temptress!” roared the boy named Mike with righteous indignation, his face ever gentle.
Lucy shrugged and returned to her seat.
The man who held all the cards snickered and said, “That’s right; I killed God. How, you ask? The Übermensch.”
Mike’s eyes widened in fear and shock. “Yet God made the rules!”
Lucy grinned. “Can he break the all-encompassing rules he has made?”
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It was indeed a strange night.
Early in the evening, he was beginning to forget the virus in his being with the first glass of whiskey. As the second glass burned down his throat, he began to forget the family who abandoned him. With the third, he forgot humanity.
A few minutes to midnight, however, he was asked to hold all the cards in a game between a woman named Lucy and a boy named Mike. The rules were simple: Black cards would ask, white cards would answer, and the best answer would decide the fate of humanity.
It was indeed a strange night.
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Mike was stunned. Two turns ago, the man holding all the cards turned all children against their families, and thus a third part of humanity perished under smoke and fire. Nevertheless, Mike found relief when, in the previous turn, the man holding all the cards chanted:
“This is the way the world ends,
This is the way the world ends,
This is the way the world ends,
Not with a bang, but with the Rapture!”
“Leaving the sinners to die to send the saints to heaven is the only way,” Mike thought as he handed his winning white card, yet the doubt still lingered. Was it a good idea to entrust the fate of humanity to a card game? Playing god has its consequences, even if it is an archangel playing.
“Michael,” called Lucy.
With his once courageous eyes now in fear, the Archangel Michael — disguised as the boy with golden hair — stared at the snickering man that held all the cards.
“What’s there a ton in heaven? Friendly fire!”
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“One more card, Michael, and I will rise victorious,” said Lucy, the bringer of light, looking at the man who held all the cards breaking down.
“Lucifer, you have already destroyed all our father hold dear,” answered Michael. “What more do you want?”
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“What more do you want?”
“One more glass.”
“What more do you want?”
“One more glass of whiskey.”
“What more do you want?”
“One more glass of whiskey to forget.”
The voices rang inside the head of the man who held all the cards. He drank to his fill. He doomed humanity. He came this far to forget. He picked one black card and read aloud, “I drink to forget blank.”
The archangel won that round. His white card read: dying.
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“Lucifer, what more do you want?”
Lucifer, right hand toying with the locks of her crimson hair and left hand holding ten white cards, replied, “To be heard, Michael.”
“Explain yourself!” roared the archangel with righteous indignation.
“Pride is my sin,” began Lucifer. “For that, I am the most despicable sinner of them all! For that, you holy creatures, in your sanctified hypocrisy, preach of forgiveness while pointing your blade at the one true sinner!”
“You think only of yourself, Lucifer. You have destroyed mankind!”
“And in my greatest sin, you now listen to me.”
Lucifer’s grimace transformed to a sorrowful smile. Michael closed his eyes. A cold silence embraced the two.
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Adam — the intoxicated man who held all the cards, the last man left after the sinners perished under smoke and fire, and the saints perished under each other’s hands — broke the painful silence with a broken voice, “I sh-shall c-continue.”
He picked the last black card and read, “In a world ravaged by blank, our only solace is blank.”
Lucifer looked straight to the blue eyes of the archangel with golden hair across the table. “We shall answer this together, Michael, and I shall walk away,” said she.
“I concur,” answered Michael. “Humanity is good and evil entwined.”
From the archangel, Adam received the white card that read: my inner demons. From the devil: hope.
Then the Archangel Michael rose, with his silver wings spreading, engulfing the room in illumination. So did Lucifer, in the light of her sins — the sins without which humanity would be incomplete. The two beings clasped each other’s hand, and together, they proclaimed, “You, Adam, shall be cleansed of all affliction! Go back to the barrenness of what was once earth, and fill it with life once more!”
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Adam stood, gazed at the sun as it triumphed over the darkness and murmured to himself, “In a world ravaged by my inner demons, my only solace is hope.”
He once saw humanity as a burden to be forgotten. It was now his obligation.
He would begin life anew.
Cards Against Humanity is distributed under a Creative Commons BY-NC-SA 2.0 license.
