You Are Not Who You Think You Are
Illustration by Zach Borromeo
Dear Reader,
I would want to start off by mentioning a disclaimer. This letter is neither a rant nor a public appeal, but an ordinary musing of your run-of-the-mill kind of guy – as cliché as it may sound, this is all the truth that I can bare to you.
I just want to share this story of mine. I really wouldn’t care if you get something out of it or not. I would say this is insightful or maybe that’s just me and all of this is plainly pathetic. Nonetheless, try to hear me out.
My name is Joshua Santos and I am, in all aspects of the word, an average guy. You can call me, Josh, by the way.
As a brief backgrounder as to what I look, simply imagine a guy not that tall enough to easily dunk like your favorite hoop star but certainly that guy who can manage to get inside a bar without being questioned of his age. I adhere to a regimental diet of soda, fries and Chickenjoy, which I can enjoy to my heart’s content, thanks to my genes. Certainly not a kayumanggi skinned person – thanks to the Internet, I have been able to hide away from the deadly rays of the sun. So yeah, basically, a normal Filipino guy that you would come across on a daily basis.
At this point you might start to think why I am rambling more about myself without getting to any point at all. Well, the point is, I hate this other person. He’s this good-for-nothing piece of hick that keeps on trying to imitate me. Not to discredit him but he used to be a somebody. Ever since I came, he just keeps on getting more irrelevant by the day. You know what grinds my gears the most? It’s when people constantly address me as if I was him. The horror!
Let me give you a rundown of the major differences as to why I am not him:
- He lives in a nipa Excuse me, that is clearly a violation of the Fire Code of the Philippines. That house is hazardous. You can endanger your whole neighborhood with that small-ass house of yours. I, meanwhile, live in a townhouse. Safer, cleaner and bigger than what he has.
- He has an outdated sense of fashion. Come on, dude. I know that you can wear casual, but not that casual. Going out of your house wearing that cheap clothing you have is not going to be presentable at all.
- His name < My name. Conveniently, if you look it up on the Internet, my full name is the most popular name in the Philippines; not that country indio name that only God knows where they picked it out of.
- Utang na loob. This is plainly pathetic. Being tied to someone else just because you are indebted to them is pretty moronic.
I could go on and on about our distinctiveness, but that would be too cruel.
I think the major factor as to why people can easily interchange us, is due to the fact that both he and I have the same characteristic. To tell you honestly, I am a hypocrite and I am proud of that. Maybe, not that proud. You are actually the first one to know about me admitting of this guilt. Apparently, you are not the first one to know that I am a hypocrite. You see, I just don’t like to own up to it. It’s not a very proud moment if someone calls you a hypocrite.
Nevertheless, we have different degrees of being a hypocrite. He is your usual suck-up. Trying to be friendly and kind for others to love and I know deep inside he doesn’t really want to in the first place. Maybe he can get things easier that way. Who am I to judge him, anyways? While for me, I am that everything-is-okay-even-if-it-is-not kind of hypocrite. I try to put on a face just so people won’t pity me. I can stand on my own.
If you have reached this point, dear reader, I salute you. You might be enraged as to why I am tactlessly berating this other person. I do understand that he hasn’t wronged me or anything of that sense, but am I being sensible enough to try and persuade you to like me instead of him? You might say no and I understand your opinion. It’s just really hard to negate your own self. Any outside advice would help.
Your correspondence,
Joshua Santos
